Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

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Lost Treasure

I’m feeling a bit anxious these past couple of days. We’re thinking of moving into a different building in our community so that we can be closer to friends but also to have a 2 storey building instead of one. We had to fill out an application that has to be approved for the move. I doubt very much that it will be a problem but I really want to make this move so I’m anxious to hear if it’s actually going to happen. I don’t want to get my hopes up too soon.

Yesterday I spent most of my morning cleaning up the bedroom and I mean CLEANING. I’m trying to get things to stop looking so darn cluttered all the time! It’s driving me nuts! It really didn’t take a huge amount of time and although there are few spots that still need a bit more work, overall it looks so much nicer in there! I’m going to do the same thing with the computer room and some of the other areas of the apartment. The trick for me is to try and stay focused. I have a tendency to start in one room and then wander into another, clean up a little in there… wander somewhere else and tidy a few things up and then I end up with no clean rooms because each one has only been tidied a bit but not enough to really make it look GOOD. At least now I realize that and I can try to avoid it in the future. I think that’s why I so often feel overwhelmed when things get messy. I want to get it all cleaned up right away, all at once. It’s unrealistic and I can’t expect that of myself. If I have one room that’s REALLY bad I can always focus on one area of that room too, now that I’ve recognized this.

Called my mom a couple of days ago and she told me she found some of my old writing from high school! I was THRILLED!! Even though it may not be the best work I’ve ever done in my life it’s still a glimpse into who I was at that time and I’m really glad to have it. That’s one of the reasons why I like to do journals, online, hardcopy or whatever. My memory is so bad that it’s nice to have a record of my life. It also makes me realize, looking back, how challenges that seemed so insurmountable at the time become so inconsequential and sometimes forgotten later on in life. They were valuable at the time, in that moment but often, no more than that. I really enjoy having that link to myself.

Not sure what I’m going to do with myself today. I’ve got a lot of work to get done around the house but I have to make sure that I stick to my new plan of staying focused. We’ll see how it goes. I’m fighting myself to keep up with the healthy eating regime… I still need to get the exercise portion of this started but one thing at a time seems appropriate for this new lifestyle too…. First healthy eating, then exercise. HOWEVER, I have been getting out of the house more than I did last year, so I’m proud of myself for that. Usually I kind of have to force myself to do it but at least I’m getting out at least a couple of times a week. B asked me if I wanted to go into work with him this morning so that I could go to housing with him and find out about moving but I knew that I’d go nuts if I got all geared up to head out there and then not actually get any kind of answer. So I chose to stay home and spare myself possible frustration. LoL Not to mention I do have all that work to do… So I’m just going to keep my fingers crossed and wait to hear how it goes.

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