Goth face

Lost Treasure

I’m feeling a bit anxious these past couple of days. We’re thinking of moving into a different building in our community so that we can be closer to friends but also to have a 2 storey building instead of one. We had to fill out an application that has to be approved for the move. I doubt very much that it will be a problem but I really want to make this move so I’m anxious to hear if it’s actually going to happen. I don’t want to get my hopes up too soon.

Yesterday I spent most of my morning cleaning up the bedroom and I mean CLEANING. I’m trying to get things to stop looking so darn cluttered all the time! It’s driving me nuts! It really didn’t take a huge amount of time and although there are few spots that still need a bit more work, overall it looks so much nicer in there! I’m going to do the same thing with the computer room and some of the other areas of the apartment. The trick for me is to try and stay focused. I have a tendency to start in one room and then wander into another, clean up a little in there… wander somewhere else and tidy a few things up and then I end up with no clean rooms because each one has only been tidied a bit but not enough to really make it look GOOD. At least now I realize that and I can try to avoid it in the future. I think that’s why I so often feel overwhelmed when things get messy. I want to get it all cleaned up right away, all at once. It’s unrealistic and I can’t expect that of myself. If I have one room that’s REALLY bad I can always focus on one area of that room too, now that I’ve recognized this.

Called my mom a couple of days ago and she told me she found some of my old writing from high school! I was THRILLED!! Even though it may not be the best work I’ve ever done in my life it’s still a glimpse into who I was at that time and I’m really glad to have it. That’s one of the reasons why I like to do journals, online, hardcopy or whatever. My memory is so bad that it’s nice to have a record of my life. It also makes me realize, looking back, how challenges that seemed so insurmountable at the time become so inconsequential and sometimes forgotten later on in life. They were valuable at the time, in that moment but often, no more than that. I really enjoy having that link to myself.

Not sure what I’m going to do with myself today. I’ve got a lot of work to get done around the house but I have to make sure that I stick to my new plan of staying focused. We’ll see how it goes. I’m fighting myself to keep up with the healthy eating regime… I still need to get the exercise portion of this started but one thing at a time seems appropriate for this new lifestyle too…. First healthy eating, then exercise. HOWEVER, I have been getting out of the house more than I did last year, so I’m proud of myself for that. Usually I kind of have to force myself to do it but at least I’m getting out at least a couple of times a week. B asked me if I wanted to go into work with him this morning so that I could go to housing with him and find out about moving but I knew that I’d go nuts if I got all geared up to head out there and then not actually get any kind of answer. So I chose to stay home and spare myself possible frustration. LoL Not to mention I do have all that work to do… So I’m just going to keep my fingers crossed and wait to hear how it goes.
  • Current Mood: chipper chipper

Every so often I come across my old writing and it is - enlightening - to see where we've come from, and how much things (and we) have changed through the years.

Good luck on the new place!

So does the 2 story place give you more space, or do you want it mostly just cuz of the friend issue and an odd desire for more height? :p I'll cross fingers for you! ;)
I have a similar cleaning issue as you do.. moving around from room to room. I usually find that I have to limit myself to cleaning one space before moving onto another and that does work. Still, when I have to move something from one space to another, I can get side tracked to the new space. :p There are times when I have to force this even on a minute level... like I'm going to clean my dresser top before I can move to my floor, etc. It does work though!
That's awesome that your mom found some of your old writings! I have kept my 'poetry journals' from high school and still occasionally look through them. Its mostly crap, some good stuff. :p Mostly I look through it and go "you poor girl, if only you knew...". I wonder how many heartaches we could have saved ourselves if we had even a glimpse of life now.
Definitely a good idea to start with one aspect of the 'healthy goals' and build from there. You don't want to shock yourself so much it becomes too hard and you lose interest. I know, in the past, I've started out with some pretty lofty goals like "i'm going to work out every single day!", and then I just can't maintain it and feel crappy for having not met the goals. Its more sustainable if you ease yourself into it I find. So what kinds of changes are you making to your eating habits right now?

The new place would have a bit more space and also you get some added privacy with 2 floors. Right now, if B stays up to play Halo or something, the sound carries into our bedroom and makes it a bit difficult to fall asleep. It's also nice if he has the guys over to play games and I want to read or something, or if I have writers group with the girls and we want privacy... the other person can just go upstairs and it's a bit more private than the one floor layout we have now. It's just a bit more like a home to me too, which is an added bonus. :)

As for changes to my eating habits... mainly trying to only eat things that are actually nourishing and nutritious... of course I'm on a chocolate kick right now but at least I'm drinking more pure fruit juices, eating more vegetables and that kind of thing. Trying to cut out those fast and not so good for you foods that I really like! LoL