Today has so far been a better day for me. Emotionally I'm feeling kind of numb, which is a step up from depressed, but I'm pleased with myself for a couple things. Mainly the fact that I took about 45 minutes last night and spent it in my "inner sanctum". I didn't expect anything, I just wanted to take a few moments to be with myself in the presence of the gods, whoever was interested. I lit my candles and put on some relaxing music... did a bit of creative writing... sat in silence for a bit... just relaxed in a spiritual environment. The fact that I've managed to do this 3 times in one week has really made me feel good about myself.
Physically my body seems to be happy with me today, despite the fact that I haven't exactly been feeding it well. I think that's largely because I've been exercising it. Again today I got a good 30+ minutes of walking done. I'm also pleased with myself for continuing to get even this little bit of exercise in. It's a pretty big step for me. Especially on the colder days!
I've also been spending more time studying for my classes. This was something I had been neglecting a bit too much... and something that I still need to improve on, but I'm happy with the progress I've made so far.
I still have a long way to go before I get things figured out in my life... before I can stop feeling so torn... but it's nice to know that I'm making progress, no matter how slowly. It's also nice to record it so I can look back on it when I forget.
To my friends who've been worried about me... I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm just going through a rough spot. Your love, support and concern is very much appreciated. I'll be ok, it's just going to take some time. I've been through worse and I'll get through this too. *hugs*