Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

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Job and stuff

I keep thinking to myself that there are so many things that I'd like to do, but I just can't do them because of school. When I follow that train of thought I realize if I keep going the way I'm going, I won't be able to do the things I want for a long time, and wish that I could just go back to school full time. That's when I realize that with my current job, that would be pretty near impossible. I'd like to quit my job, but then I wouldn't be able to afford anything. I mean the whole point of me going back to school is to better myself an hopefully get out of this dead-end job of mine. Then again, even after I graduate there's no guarantee that I'd be able to find anything other than the type of working I'm doing now. *sigh* In fact, I'm not even sure I know what I'd like to do with my future. Maybe I shouldn't think... it's just depressing! I feel like I've got no direction. Is it possible to be too focused on living for today? So focused that I have no plan for tomorrow...for the most part don't even think about the future. Do I need a plan for tomorrow? Or am I just reflecting the teachings of society? Sometimes I wonder. It seems the wondering is what gets me in trouble too. I could think myself into a hole!!

It seems I have a lot on my mind lately. Many things weighing heavily on my soul, heart and mind. Most things will take time to work out, but I know they will work out... all I can do until then is take things one day at a time. Try not to let the thoughts bog me down. Though I also have to make sure I'm not just masking them, trying to avoid them. I have to deal with them, confront them... sometimes that's just harder than it seems.


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