Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

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Just got back from Christmas with the family. It was a pretty good trip except for the cold! I was freeezing!! It's always colder in my home town than it is here in the thriving metropololis of Toronto. We don't really get into the present giving thing all that much (we're more about time together with family than greed/commercialism) but we do try and get one or two thoughtful things for each other. I got some nice little things and I'm pretty happy about it. It was almost sad going to my cousins' houses and seeing trees with tons of presents under them because I know that it's all about quantity and most of it will likely be forgotten or given away by next year...nothing like the spirit of Christmas!

I'm glad to see the the little orange kitty is back with us. I hope Rusty hasn't been giving her too hard of a time! (the little rascal) It was good to see him too. I missed my big fat ball of fur!! Of course part of me keeps thinking I was only gone for two days! Where did the past four days go?!

So now that I'm home, I decided I had to post one of my usual rambling posts...

Sometimes I think that I've really had an impact or role in someone's life and then wonder why I've never or rarely been mentioned. Then other times I find that people who I never would have thought would remember me in a million years are asking about me or telling someone about me. I find this really strange. It really makes me stop to think about relationships...and then I think, but what does it matter? Is any of this recognition important in the grand scheme of things? Probably not. And yet, sometimes it still kind of bothers me when I'm missing from the credits rolling at the end of some of the films. Especially in those films where I've played a supporting role. Why does this bother me? Shouldn't I just be happy knowing that I'm alive and healthy...why does this recognition (or lack there of) seem to get to me? Part of me wants to pout and feel unappreciated....another part of me thinks it's a waste of my time/energy/life... another part of me wants to think it's the other person's loss for not noticing/remembering. I've seen so many of my friends grow apart from me and part of me wonders if they still wonder about me. I have some friends who I still talk to, but it seems like we're so far apart I wonder if they even really think of me anymore or if they're lives have changed so much that they don't have room for me anymore...they're lives are quite happy without my presence.

I wonder if I overanalyze things too much...?

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