Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows
kaleekolai

Xmas

I have to admit, I'm looking forward to Xmas this year. Not because of presents or anything but simply because I get to head out to my Mom's place in the boonies for a few days. I've been enjoying taking trips to see her and this time I'll be going with Jboy. It's relaxing to know that I'm not going to have to drive either. I just get to sit back and enjoy a nice, relaxed train ride.

My family and I don't generally do a big gift exchange. It used to be that we couldn't afford to, and to a certain extent that's still true, but I think we've just come to recognize that it's the getting together part that is the real gift. I'm also going to get to see my cousin Jen who will be coming in from L.A. Needless to say, I don't get to see her all that often, so it will be a nice treat.

I'm really looking forward to just hand out with my Mom too. I think I realize more and more each day that despite all our hardships and a very rough set of year when I was a teen, I'm really lucky that I have such an awesome Mom. While I was working on my novel last month, I realized just how much she did for my brother and I when we were kids. I can better recognize that with all the things that were wrong between us, there were so many, many things that were right. There were so many things that she did to make sure we kids had many opportunities and the support to do and be who we were.

I find as I continue getting older, I begin to appreciate her much more and really cherish the time that we have together. You never know when it may be gone. Just recently she found out that the breast cancer she had when we were kids returned. She has now survived yet another major surgery and come out with clear margins and no need for chemotherapy. I can't even imagine what she's been through.

My Mom gave me her gift and love of art, music and beautiful, natural things. My Mom reminds me of bare mountain tops that overlook miles and miles of land. My Mom is the one person who I feel most comfortable being "authentically flawed" around. My Mother gave me life. My Mother's love and faith in helped save my life.

This is why I am looking forward to Xmas this year. This is why I look forward to any time of year that allows me to enjoy time with my Mom.
Tags: christmas, mom, xmas
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