Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

[Gym] AWOL

Last week was a bust. I didn’t get to the gym once because of illness and having too many appointments scheduled after work. I’m not sure how I feel about not going for a whole week. On the one hand, I feel like I should be upset or disappointed with myself but I’m really not. I think it’s because it’s still so new and I’m still just getting started with it. There’s bound to be good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks.

I haven’t felt up to going this week either. The weekend was rough for me because we had Emy over and she was really sick on Saturday night. We were up for most of the night with her crying and throwing up, so when Monday rolled around, I was still feeling the exhaustion from the lack of sleep on the weekend. I went straight home and was in bed by 8:30 pm.

Yesterday, I had to run up to the pet store to get crickets for Apalala. It’s a little bit out of my way and I decided to skip the gym so that I wouldn’t be too late getting home. I was feeling a bit headachy again and wanting to avoid aggravating it, I decided to skip the gym and head straight to the pet store. As it turned out, it was rather mild out and there was no bus in sight so I walked up to the pet store. It worked out to be about fifteen minutes of walking, which would have been equal to the amount of walking I would have done at the gym anyway (only there was no changing and treadmill involved). I was pretty pleased with this fact but at the same time it just wasn’t the same as a gym workout.

I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things this week but so far, I’m still having trouble with headaches and energy levels. If it was just the energy levels, I’d try and push myself in order to get the feel-good endorphins going but the headaches get worse if I workout (usually).

Today I’m working a later shift because I’m attending a tradeshow for work from 4:30 – 7:00 pm. I was thinking of heading to the gym after the tradeshow but again, my head is really bothering me. Breaking out of my rut is turning out to be quite a challenge and I’m still trying to find the line between pushing myself too hard and creating unrealistic expectations versus going with the flow and being kind to myself.

What I’m currently struggling with is the fact that I rather enjoy going to the gym and working out but my mind (and often body) are telling me that I’m too tired. Since exercise can give you energy, there’s a part of my brain that says I should go to the gym, however, there’s the very real possibility of making myself feel ill by pushing myself when I’m overly fatigued.

My main concern is the fact that I am so tired, so much of the time. I haven’t really gotten myself into a stable routine yet, so I know that contributes to it but I wonder if there isn’t more to it than that. I’ve stopped keeping myself awake artificially with caffeinated drinks and I’m going to bed early most nights but I’m waking up tired and finding myself on auto-pilot throughout most of the day. Today it’s actually really bad as far as feeling groggy and unfocused. I can only assume that the weather and time of year may also be contributing to this.

I knew there would be an adjustment period as I make these changes, so I want to make sure that I keep track of what’s happening. I’m hoping that it will give me a good sense of what’s working and what isn’t.

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