November 23rd, 2004

A nice long morning post

Last night I had a dream where I lost one of my teeth. I have dreams like this every now and then. Sometimes I swallow them and other times they get crushed in my mouth like I’m chewing on them. Last night though I was playing with the tooth in my dream and it was loose. I flicked it with my tongue and it came out. It was the strangest thing. I picked it up off the floor and looked at it. At first it looked fine, just like a bigger version of a baby tooth but as I inspected it further I started to notice spots that had holes through them and a rust coloured stain in places. Very strange indeed. It was on the same side of my mouth as where I had a tooth pulled and in the dream that tooth was also gone but now the new tooth was one closer to the front and I was worried about what I’d look like. Would I be able to smile without it showing? I went to check in the mirror and somehow the way the teeth were crowded in my mouth made it impossible to notice the tooth missing except from one angle. I was relieved to know that I wasn’t going to have to worry too much about it. Strange dream and I have no clue what it means or why I keep having dreams about losing my teeth but there you go!

I’m planning on doing a full moon ritual on Friday since I didn’t get to do my Samhain ritual. I think I’m finally feeling a little bit better about not getting to do the Samhain ritual because I realize that, in a way, I did have a Samhain ritual… a true remembrance of “the dead”. We had a feast in Jim’s honour with family and friends, I thought about him, his life, what he meant to me, I felt that he was still close by and I went to the site of his death and sat in silence for a few short moments under the light of the moon. So I didn’t get to do exactly what I’d wanted. I didn’t cast a circle and call the quarters or invoke the Gods but I did so much more. There was more that I could have done but I think I should focus on what I did do instead of what I didn’t do.

I’m still trying to do my blessings/prayers every evening. Usually it’s just off the cuff these days but I want to try and memorize some prayers so that I have something set to lead me into the right frame of mind. I’m not doing them every evening for some reason. I think sometimes I just forget and fall asleep. I guess it’s just a matter of getting used to it and getting into the habit. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but eventually I’d like to be doing the blessings in the morning as well.

I’ve already begun looking up information for Yule too. The tricky thing about Yule is that I will be in Mexico. I doubt I’ll find many cedars, pines, holly or other seasonal items there. I’m trying to figure out what I’ll do and I was thinking of just a quiet meditation on the beach around sunset. Maybe even a visualization of the traditional aspects… then again, maybe I’ll try something completely different using what is available to me down there (ie – shells, sand, palms, etc). Could be interesting to try something using the native items.

I’ve been feeling more and more “Christmas-y” lately. I don’t know why exactly. Not that I’m wanting presents but more the tree decorating and baking cookies, listening to carols and that sort of thing. More that merry seasonal spirit seems to be infusing me. I’m not sure why exactly. When I was living in Ontario sometimes I wouldn’t get the feeling even when it was Christmas! I think it might be because of all the snow up here. My brain is equating a certain amount of time from when the snow falls to the time you celebrate Christmas. It’s the only theory I have right now but I’m not complaining either way, it’s a happy, good feeling.
  • Current Mood
    content content

I need a new head!

Well, I got my first migraine in two months. Stupid migraine. Oh well, I can’t complain too much. It wasn’t THAT bad and it has been two months. *sigh* Of course I would have preferred to keep the streak going but I’ll survive.

I did some cleansing tonight too. I opened up and let someone know that I was sorry. I let them know that I wanted to let go of the past and wipe the slate clean. It is clean now and I’m glad for it. It feels good to be able to get things off my chest… hard as it might be at times. Perhaps this is one just one way the Gods have chosen for me to look outwards.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved