February 11th, 2004

zero o'clock

Just finished subjecting Hazel to the movie "Showgirls". Full frontal nudity!! YEEHAW! LoL She's going to start hating me if I keep it up. I always subject her to such horrible movies!

Today is a better day in comparison to the last few days I've had. My head was hurting a bit earlier, but I'm definitely adjusting to the glasses. Not that I'd ever want to go back to vision without glasses again, but the headaches are killer!

I was supposed to write an assignment for class today... it's not going to happen. It's not actually marked, but I'll lose participation marks for not handing it in. It sucks but I'm just not able to get myself to do it. I don't know what's gotten into me lately.

Uhm... yeah...
  • Current Mood
    mellow mellow

(no subject)

Ok... so I'm still awake... working on my assignment. I just couldn't bring myself to not hand anything in...even if it is crap. I've also had my glasses on the whole time I've been working and so far so good! Yay me! Anyway, yeah... it's been a while since I've stayed up late cramming like this. Good thing I had a nap earlier! If I finish by 2am I'll still get 6 hours of sleep... could be worse.

couldn't be much worse

Well, I managed to wake up on time for work but I'm SO exhausted. I guess that serves me right for trying to cram. Ah well, as long as I don't make a habit of this I should be fine. I'm currently hoping that it won't be too busy at work seeing as I don't know if I have the mental capacity for complex action/thought today! *yawn*

I did get the writing assignment done last night but I still have laundry and cleaning to do. I also have to pick up more kitty litter and a couple more grocery items. So much to do so little time/money. Of course if I didn't spend so much money I wouldn't have "so little money"! LoL I really have to work on this saving this a bit more.

I'm really curious to find out how I'm doing under the new commissioin structure at work. I already know that this new commission structure is a way of making it nearly impossible to attain our targets, but I'm really wondering how bad it will actually be. January didn't look like it was going to be horrible, but so far in February I've already missed a few days with headaches and general blah-ness, so it's going to be tougher to acheive target. The worst part of this whole thing is that I'm not going to find out for another few weeks. Our reporting is so archaic that it takes them a whole month to figure our numbers out! It boggles my mind sometimes.

And on that note...time to get going!
  • Current Music
    Dido - White Flag

(no subject)

I am a jealous person. I don't play well with others because I want everything to be focused on me. I have trouble sharing. I want it all to myself. A lot of the time I live in my head. I'd like to blame it all on my childhood. How I wasn't able to be selfish and enjoy life after my mother got sick. How I had to grow up so quickly and take on responsibility that no 12 year old should have to deal with. But I know that can't be the only reason. There must be more to it. Besides, I don't like hiding behind an excuse like that...

and then there was the last straw

I'm slowly but surely cleaning my room tonight. Sure I'm tired from the lack of sleep and could probably think of about 100 other things I'd rather do, but I just can't take the mess anymore. I'm also thinking that getting this cleaned up (again) will help with some of the stress I've been feeling. I find that when my room is messy it's often a reflection of how I'm feeling and vice versa. I even took "before" pictures of the room this morning!! That way I can compare as I go so I donn't get discouraged!! LOL

On another note I went to buy a pack of gum today and didn't see the attendant at the cash. I was wondering where he had disappeared to when I saw a little sign that said please wait a few minutes for pray. I don't know why, but I was really moved by this. When the guy got up off the floor I was smiling widely. His religious devotion really touched me. AND instead of putting myself down about my lack of religious devotion, I simply thought to myself "See how easy it is? I can do that. Just take a few minutes each day." It was very moving for me and I hope that I can take the example of that gentleman and applied to my own life.

So yeah... different from my previous post, but that's because I'm a bit skitzoid... I don't even think I spelled that right.