July 21st, 2003

Monday Monday

Got back from a visit to my Dad's place last night. The train was late as usual so I didn't get to bed until well after midnight. Naturally this meant I was in pretty rough shape for work today, not to mention I wasn't feeling that great. So I ended up leaving work early, coming home and sleeping for 3 hours before heading off to my class. I really would have prefered to stay home, but I figured I probably shouldn't miss the class. I missed last week.

It was a pretty nice visit with my Dad and step-mom though. Unfortunately, she was really sick this weekend so we didn't get to spend much time together. Dad and I played quite a few games of pool though! Now that the basement renovations are done. It was funny though because either he lost or he won, I didn't actually win any games on my own! At one point he lost 4 games in a row either by sinking the white ball, the eight ball prematurely or the eight ball in the wrong pocket. It was a hoot! We also went to "Art in the Park" and saw lots of overpriced art and crafts and later that night went and saw Terminator 3. I was a sequel, but good for a few laughs.

Apart from the feelings of exhaustion and lack of quality sleep I've been getting recently, I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I don't know what it is exactly, but I know one thing is simply that I've reclaimed my spirituality. Coming back to Wicca seems to be making a bit of a difference in my life in general, mainly because that spiritual side of me was really struggling... almost drowning. I don't feel that way any longer and it is a very positive and reassuring feeling.

I'm also thinking about one of my real life friends. She's going through so much right now and I sometimes wish I could do more to help out. I know she appreciates the things I've already done, but I hate seeing her hurting. She's so hard on herself sometimes and I see her questioning herself and doubting herself when she's got nothing to doubt. She's a very talented person and has grown so much in the past few weeks. She's been so strong and courageous to take the enormous steps she's taken recently, but they are hard steps to take and I keep seeing her look back down the path she's come from and considering going back to it. Darling, stay on the new path, it will take you to far better places. Places more marvelous and beautiful than the one you've left. I know right now it seems like a bleak dark forest ahead at times, but once you get past the residual power of the other path, you will emerge in a better place with more possibilities and so much more room to grow, learn and love as you should be loved... unconditionally and without hurt. It is possible and I think she knows that. She's already had a taste of the possibilities now appearing before her. Hold fast to these things. They will give you strength.

And on that note... Good night to all.
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