July 15th, 2003

Dreams?

I bought myself some homeopathic pills to stop snoring yesterday. I was thinking that might be causing me to have trouble sleeping. I'm not even sure that I do snore, but I'd wake up with a dry throat and the back of my throat would be a little sore sometimes... I figured I'd give it a try.

So this morning I wake up and even though I know I had dreams, I can't really remember what they were, there's no dry throat or soreness either. I also feel really well rested and I didn't go to bed any earlier than usual. I am a bit groggy right now, seeing as I just woke up, but mentally I feel very well rested.

Don't get me wrong, today would be a perfect day to stay home and curl up in bed...watch movies, relax, read...but alas... I have work to go to. Thankfully that only sucks away 5 hours of my life, plus travel time.

Last night userinfoladydogstar</span>, myself and our friend Hazel did a full moon ritual. Well actually, userinfoladydogstar</span> performed the ritual... we just kind of stood there. One of these times I'm going to actually participate more. It was really neat though because the moon rose right at the part where userinfoladydogstar</span> said that we should all gaze at the moon. It was low on the horizon and red in colour. At first I wasn't even sure if it was the moon...as it rose it changed from red, to orange, to yellow and presumably to white, but we didn't stay our there quite that long.

That's about it in a nutshell for this morning.
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Lucky Pennies

I've been meaning to add an entry about this for the past few days but it just seems to keep slipping my mind.

One day last week (or the week before, not sure anymore) I stepped outside of my apartment building and saw a penny on the ground...then another one! One of them was tails up so I flipped it over for the next person (I heard somewhere it's better if it's heads up),picked up the other one and put it in my pocket. The next day I came outside and there were FIVE more pennies and the one that I'd flipped over the previous day. This time I picked them all up. Since then I've been finding lucky pennies everywhere! On the sidewalk, at the top of the escalator at the subway, in the hallway at work... they just keep appearing. I'm taking this as a good omen despite all that's been happening lately. I'm waiting for something really good to come my way! Bring it on universe!! I could use some good!
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    cheerful cheerful

Rambling and Ritual

I got home from work today, watched TV for a bit and proceeded to fall fast asleep until 9pm when ladydogstar called to get a friend's cell phone number. I'd been having interesting dreams about going to a swimming pool and swimming and there was someone there who I had sex with (a man who I believed to be my ex, but was not quite him). It was weird because the sex didn't actually happen in the dream, it was a dream memory... like I remembered we'd had sex in the dream...and then I got all these pictures that were black and white but negative images. They looked really neat! They were all nudes of me and some of the two of us embracing. The cool thing was it was very close to the mundane me in the pictures... rolls and all. The one difference was that I had long hair instead of my shaved head. I've been giving some serious thought to letting my hair grow out again and I've been really flipping back and forth... after seeing this dream it really makes me want long hair again... well down to my shoulders anyway.

I finally got around to doing that ritual I've mentioned in at least one previous entry. It was shorter than I had expected, but I think it went well. I'm going to be doing it a few more times with slightly different purposes but the same format.

I'm also searching for my God and Goddess. For now I'm just calling the Mother and Father or Horned One, but I'd like to have something a little bit more than that... it seems a bit too impersonal to me. It's like someone calling me the bald headed one or big breasted one. I've been considering Aradia and Cernunnos, but I hate the idea of mixing pantheons. I almost wish I knew of a God and Goddess who were completely Wiccan and not borrowed from somewhere else. I'm sure I'll figure it out at some point, it will just take some searching and I can deal with that. At least I have a direction now and something I can actually work with that sings to me and resonates in tune with my soul.
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