Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

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Last Night

I got invited to a full moon circle at C & </a></b></a>beith's place. Not only are they great hostesses, but they have a really nice place for ritual and circle work. Did I mention that the food is also exceptional? In fact, eventhough it was probably one of the most simple circles I've been too, I think it was the best. C led us through a "tree" grounding & centering that was really good. I found that I was able to sit still and just "be" for much longer than I would have expected. The only problem was that at one point people started shifting around and I was worried that I was supposed to be coming out of the "trance/meditation". For whatever reason when I then tried to come out of that state I started to panic. I didn't want to leave my tree. I became very upset and afraid. I was afraid to leave the tree, afraid I wouldn't be able to find my way. I was having a sort of seperation anxiety, for lack of a better term. Thankfully, C picked up on this and reached over and gently touched me, breaking the connection. I'm glad she did, although it startled me a bit. I tried to choke down tears I was feeling welling up to the surface and at the same time wondering what this reaction was. I felt so foolish. Why was I crying from a simple little excercise. When the group of us started talking, I couldn't keep it in anymore, and I think the tears needed to come out. I'm still not sure exactly what the problem was and I do feel a bit embarassed about it... Thankfully </a></b></a>beith was kind enough to share one of her first experiences with me and that made me feel a bit better, though I feel bad for "monopolizing" the group's time with my own issue. I'm hoping to be able to do the excercise again and work through whatever it was that caused the distressed. All in all it was a great experience with great people. I truly believe my subconscious has something to tell me and I'm glad that I was in such a supportive group of women when it decided to "speak up". Big thanks all of them!

On a completely unrelated note... I barely got anything done today and I'm seriously considering dropping one of my courses because I can't seem to manage my time well enough to get it together. I was planning on going to do one of my temple visits (I have to make 2 visits to two different religious institutions), but instead I ended up running around getting my mini-disc player purchase straightened out because Radio Shack sold me the wrong one (Thanks to a wonderful woman at the Sony Store it's all good now).

And now for something completely different...


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