Goth face

Strange feelings

I'm in a really strange mood right now. Like I'm on the verge of feeling several different emotions at once... deleriously happy, immensely sad, angry, powerful, giddy... like I said it's strange. It's almost like it's flipping around from different emotions, like I'm experiencing something but my mind doesn't know how to respond so it's just going through all the different emotionally reactions it's familiar with.

I've been reading Phyllis Currot's "Book of Shadows" and really enjoying it. It's not as "fluffy" as I was afraid of. I do flinch a bit at some parts, but overall it's pretty interesting. It's also making want to develop my own innate abilities, whatever they may be. Some days I can almost feel them, just below the surface, trying to break forth from the depths of my soul, but not quite able to. I believe it will happen at some point, but not for a few years yet.

I think I have a habit of getting really introspective late at night. I'm starting to feel more and more alive each day... more like myself somehow. The days that I'm able to stay up this late make me feel this sense of self. When I find myself feeling tired halfway through the day and going to bed early it really bothers me. Partly because I'm sleeping too much of my life away and partly because I sometimes feel so out of it that I'm missing everything even when I am awake. But when I'm up late, it's all different. I can't describe it because I don't really understand it. Maybe it's the quiet that comes with the late hour... maybe it's the dark... who knows. I just know I enjoy it. Even when I feel down I feel more alive at this time.... did I mention that I'm also more prone to rambling incoherently at this time of night??

  • Current Mood: confused confused
  • Current Music: Evanescence - My Immortal

Carrie says that if you're liking the Currot, you might want to check out 'The Heart of Wicca' by Ellen Cannon Reed if you haven't already. She hasn't had a chance to look at it yet herself, but it's highly reccomended by some online Wicca friends she has. Supposed to be highly inspirational on the spiritual side of things.

Thanks! Not sure if I'm going to add any more Wiccan books to my library at this point... I'm trying to catch up on all the different books I have now (over 300 unread!! oops!). Of course, that being said I'll probably end up buying another handful in the next couple of months and I'll keep an eye open for this one. hehehe