depressedThe worst part is that I'm not so much upset about not making it in to work as I am upset that I couldn't seem to get myself to make it in to work. I'm more upset about the mindset behind the absence. I feel like I'm slipping. I used to be so good at my job and just loved going in to work each day. Lately, I just feel kind of down, don't feel like I'm performing my job as well as I did and can't get motivated. I really am starting to feel like a crap employee and I don't like it... but I don't really feel like I have the energy to do much about it. I try not to let it come through to the customers or my co-workers but I just feel like the enthousiasm I had before is gone. I'm disappointed with myself. I disappointed that I don't really care to do anything about it either.
Do you ever have a dream that is so wonderfully amazing that you try to wake yourself up, hoping it's real and that you aren't sleeping? I had that type of dream the other night. I remember crying because I was so happy. When I finally did wake up, it left me bummed out for the rest of the day though. My waking life seemed so pale in contrast. I don't know if the feeling has truly left yet. I keep thinking about the dream and how happy I was... not that my real life sucks, it's just when you have a dream where some of your dearest wishes/desires are fulfilled, anything else just doesn't seem quite as good. My life right now is so amazing that I have to find some way to pull myself out of this funk and enjoy these good times!
