Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows
kaleekolai

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strange dream

I just woke up from a rather long nap that ended with a dream that really threw me... I don't know if I can remember all of it but I just needed to write it down. Maybe it will help me understand it.

I came home and the living room was different. The coffee table in front of the couch had been replaced by a full table and chairs. It was a nice set, but a bit odd... I didn't really think much about it because one of my friends was bringing someone over to see me, another friend who I hadn't seen in a long time. I turned around and saw them walking into the kitchen at that moment. I don't know who the first friend was, but my logical brain seems to believe they were both the same person... which is kind of odd. In any case I went over and gave my friend Denis a great big hug. It's been at least 3 years since I've seen him. So we head to my room and I find the coffee table's been shoved in there blocking off the door completely (there's not much spare room in there). I was really upset by this. What were my roommates thinking?! So I headed over to my other room with my books in it and it's almost empty. It looked like someone was moving me out. Half of my stuff was gone and just a few smaller bookshelves were left. I lost it at this point. I became hysterical and furious. I was crying and when I looked into my roommate's room some of my stuff was in there! I went back to the living room and the kitchem table had been replaced by a smaller coffee table (the other one was still in my bedroom). I started yelling at my roommates, asking them what the hell they were doing and where was my stuff. They were cool as cucumbers, acting like everything was just fine. When I mentioned that they couldn't leave their big coffee table in my room Hazel said "well were are we going to put it? it won't fit in there (pointing to their room)". I said something about how it would fit if they put all of my stuff back in my room.

I don't remember much other than that other than the feeling of complete frustration and the crying. Even when I woke up the feeling was still with me. It's probably about an hour later now and I can still remember it. It was very powerful and emotionally intense. This is happening to me more and more. I have trouble finding the meaning in it though.

I still have a migraine...which was the whole point I had the nap in the first place...but now I don't want to go back to sleep. I don't want to go through another dream like that. Part of me feels that my dreams are now the only place where I feel emotions with any intensity anymore, where I feel "alive", but the other part of me hates it. *shrug* I don't know what's up with me.

~
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