Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows
kaleekolai

  • Mood:

Thank the gods that's behind me...

I almost had a little mental meltdown on Tuesday night while I was studying for my exam. I hadn't realize just how high my stress levels had gotten. I was watching an episode of House and found the panic over a decision that one of the characters experienced to be very difficult to watch. I almost lost my mind.

The "good" thing about it was recognizing that I'd been stressed (I didn't think that I really was that stressed) and seeing that a lot of what I've been struggling with lately (my hair, self-esteem, worry) has been an off-shoot of that stress.

Last night, I picked up my essay (got 100%, as did almost everyone who handed one in) and from 7-10 pm I spewed forth every little bit of information about Buddhism that I could remember. My hand was completely cramped up but I'd written a ton of stuff. I think that I might have "over studied". I think I knew TOO much of everything and not just the key points, so I probably ended up writing way more than I needed.

I felt relieved to have it behind me and when I started reading one of my books on paganism (Dreaming the Dark by Starhawk), I truly felt the stress begin melting away. I don't know if it was just the fact that I was coming back to something that really resonates with me (Wicca/Paganism) but I do know that I immediately started to feel a shift in my mind. My sense of self, specifically, seemed to shift. I'm no longer worried about my hair (or lack thereof) and I felt at peace with myself.

It's amazing how nice it is not to have any deadlines looming over me. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Tags: essay, exam, peace, stress
Subscribe

  • Beltaine and Cherry Trees

    I didn't do a lot for Beltaine this year. I almost let it slip by me without being noticed. I ended up having the house to myself Friday night and…

  • Latest reads

    Just finished reading "Pastwatch: The Redemption of Christopher Columbus" by Orson Scott Card. Loved it. Thanks to zinderfine for…

  • Gym update and books!

    Good thing about my gym: one of the locations has a pool. Not so good thing about my gym: the location with the pool is located right next to an…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments