Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows

[Living Buddhism] A modest update

I'm still trying to stick to my eating schedule but have been struggling with it because of being sick and often just feeling drained in the evenings. I've only eaten a full meal a few times but generally find a smaller snack suits me just as well if I really need something in the evening. I'd like to try and avoid the evening snacking as much as possible though.

My asthma attack had a rather interesting "side-effect" to it the other day. I was able to attain complete focus on my breathing. In fact, I couldn't think of much else... other than fear for my life, which I think in some sense defeats the whole purpose but not so much that I wasn't able to recognize the feeling of complete focus. For the most part, all I could think about was to keep breathing. I was acutely aware of the feeling of my breath straining to get into my lungs and then leaving my lungs again. I was very aware of the pain in my chest as I struggled to force as much air into my lungs as possible and I was also aware of my own mortality. There were a few moments where I thought I might die, that I might not make it to the hospital in time. I felt my "attachment" to my self very strongly that day and wonder how people are able to break that attachment.

This morning I was able to wake up and get ready for work pretty well on schedule. I got just under seven hours of sleep and feel very well rested. I'm sure it helped that I took it pretty easy yesterday but I think it also helped that I felt like I got a lot accomplished and slept soundly. I always start to feel tired after lunch though. I guess it's the food hitting my system.
Tags: breathing, living buddhism

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.