Goth face

[Living Buddhism] Day 2 - Midday report or "Crash and Burn"

I currently feel like a huge failure. It's only day 2 and I've already completely gone off schedule. As I already mentioned, I wasn't able to wake up at 3:30 this morning but it didn't stop there. Shortly after posting, I started to feel really sick to my stomach and had to lay back down. I felt incredibly nauseous and I don't know why. Is this just my body adjusting? Did I eat something that my stomach didn't like? Was I just tired? I'm really not sure what it was but I slept until about 10:00 and feel very disappointed with myself.

The energy that sustained me all day yesterday is lacking today. I'd felt so clear headed and vibrant (though I did get physically tired by the end of the day). I'm not used to having such a clear mind during the day. My thoughts are often muddled and I feel mentally exhausted. That was not the case yesterday and I think that's a very good sign... of course, I'm not sure if it's because of the change in diet or the change in sleep or simply just the act of being more aware and trying to meditate more.

As a side note, I spent a few minutes last night meditating with my singing bowl. I absolutely love the sound it resonates. I think I find it one of the best ways for me to get into a meditative state for longer periods of time.
  • Current Mood: disappointed disappointed
You are presently trying a make a *huge* adjustment to your life style and schedule -- it's only natural that it's difficult. But dealing with difficulty doesn't make someone a failure.

When meditating, if random thoughts or images pop into one's head and interfere (quite a common occurance, many find), it's often suggested that they be calmly acknowledged and set aside, so that that mediation may continue.

Perhaps taking a similar tack will work with the process you're now going through? Acknowledge you didn't do it -- this time. That something interfered. Then set it aside and continue on the path you've decided to with. Angry self-recrimination and blame and disappointment will only impede you, so set them aside and go back to your original purpose. Acknowledge that it well can take a while, and that there will be further set-backs. Be willing to acknowledge them, set them aside, and continue on.

Thank you. I think you're absolutely right and that I have to see this as an adjustment period, accept it as such and keep going.

Sometimes another point of view is all you need, so thanks again for providing one. :)