desert fox mouth open

up and down like a yo-yo

I'm feeling rather moody this morning. I think I slept too much last night, having gotten almost twelve hours of sleep, and even the sunshine outside doesn't seem to be making much of a difference. Maybe I just need to give it a bit more time before it has some effect on my groggy self.

My stomach is on the fritz because I actually decided to try and eat breakfast. Go figure! It's nothing major really; just a little bit of indigestion but it's annoying.

In other news, my appetite is a fraction of what it used to be and I'm still not able to lose weight. I'm eating less, and making better food choices overall, to no avail. I am by no means starving myself but I tend to stop eating when I'm full now instead of trying to finish everything on my plate. Sometimes, if it's really delicious, I'll try and stuff a bit more in my stomach but generally not to the point where I feel bloated, which used to be what I'd do. I've pretty much cut pop out of my diet, don't supersize my meals and haven't been eating at places like McDonald's nearly as much as I was. I'm also walking a bit more than I used to. Not a lot more mind you but I'll walk an extra block or two before hopping on a streetcar or subway. It's not enough to build muscle or anything but it gets the body moving and the heart pumping so it's better than nothing... or is it?

I'm putting this behind a cut simply because it's a lot of the same whining and complaining that you've all already been subjected to.
As usual, I have no desire to go to class tonight and I very well might not. This lack of enthusiasm for school has me a bit concerned since it seems I never want to go to class. I'm not sure if it's just not that interesting to me or if it's the fact that I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.

I'm only in each of the classes one day a week, so I think I'm having trouble really getting into it. I'm also at work all day, which really seems to be my actual life whereas school seems more of a hobby. I know that I'm doing it mainly for myself and not to "get ahead" or "get a job" but rather to get a piece of paper that says I did something. Of course, these days, more an more companies are asking for degrees... like call centres... so it's still a good idea for me to actually get mine. *sigh* By the time I have my degree, if I continue school at my current rate, I'll be in my mid to late thirties. It seems insane to me. The whole "well it's better than nothing" argument isn't holding much water in my mind either.

I guess a lot of this lack of interest in school has to do with the fact that there are other things in my life that seem like bigger priorities (i.e. - work, paying off debts, getting my own place). School doesn't really take away from it that much (except that it does cost a fortune) but it's just another bit of stress to deal with on an ongoing basis. I wonder if it's all worth it.
  • Current Mood: moody moody

Don't get too down about the weight loss stuff, especially since it hasn't been that long since you started cutting out a lot of stuff. I"d suggest you just give it some more time and try to boost your activity level if can. I know your heart rate goes up quickly, so maybe something like yoga or pilates?

I understand your concerns about school. Just keep in mind that, especially since you are doing it part time - you can always cut back on how many classes you take or even take a year off. Maybe you need to take more half credits so they don't take as long and tend to be a little more intensive. You're half way done this year, so definitely fifnish it up, but next year you can make different choices if you think it will fit what you want/need better. :)
The only problem with the weight loss stuff is the fact that I've been working on this for so long with minimal results. I could go back on that high protein/low carb type diet (not Atkins *shudder*) since it worked well for me but that would definitely mean buying/cooking groceries which I don't feel so comfortable doing at my place. I could also actually make use of my weight watchers membership (since I'm still paying for it) and put that back into practice. It wasn't working too badly for me either.

The exercise thing really is my biggest stumbling block because I get so uncomfortable when I exercise (heart rate, breathing/asthma, assorted pains). I know that it would do me good and I even picked up a yoga book the other day (since both my yoga and pilates books are up North) but I haven't done anything because I need a mat to do it on (hardwood floors = ouch with no mat) and I'm not sure that I have enough space in my room to do most of the moves anyway. I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet, get the darn mat and give it a try to find out. I'm sure that even 30 minutes each morning would make a difference.

I'd actually thought about taking half year courses instead figuring that they would be a bit more intensive. I think I'm really just not feeling that challenged because I'm at school so little. It gives me the illusion of being able to slack off.
If I remember Marxist Conflict theory correctly, the problem with our society is that the economic hierarchy demands that piece of paper to mark you as an elite member of society and thus worthy of higher income. And because education is more readily available in North America, you need more and more degrees/diplomas to keep ahead of your competition. Think back to 30-40 years ago when a BA meant a lot more than what it is today. Or how people graduated school at grade 10, did less than a year of an education degree, and then were put out to teach kids. We have to work our asses off 10 times harder than any of that bunch. To quote a great and noble critic, "Boo-urns".
Boo indeed!! It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't cost so darn much!! Part of me would like to go back to school full-time but I'd rather not be broke all the time and am not sure that I could even afford to do it. So, I stick with part-time.