Goth face

A dark and dusky morning

This morning felt pretty rough for me. I woke up and just wanted to crawl back into bed. It seemed to be more than just being tired too. Even the air and the way the city looked today seemed different... darker. The journey to work largely passed by me as thought I wasn’t really there. I remember standing on the subway platform and staring blankly at the “yellow line” as the train rushed through the station before stopping to let everyone on. Everything felt surreal and hazy. I found myself stuck in a certain state of melancholy that I couldn’t seem to shake. I tried a few times to change my thoughts but I was feeling too vulnerable to make it happen. When I finally arrived at work, I met my assistant manager downstairs who remarked that I looked “dead”. I guess it wasn’t just my mind that was reflecting my thoughts and emotions.

Today is my first day back to school. I’m unfortunately not really that excited about it and I’m hoping that’s just because of my mood. It’s not that I don’t like my courses, because I do, I’m just not looking forward to being back in class for some strange reason. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if the whole University process isn’t for me. It might also be the fact that I know it will take me so long to complete a degree that I get a bit discouraged. I sometimes find myself wondering if it’s worth it.

Yesterday I was over at Jboy’s place and ended up playing SSX for waaaay too long. I’m not even sure how long I was playing for. We played against each other and once I tired Jboy out, I played on my own while he rested for a bit. Of course, it resulted in me falling asleep to images of snow, skis and crazy tricks!

Apart from SSX, it was a lovely weekend spent with my Jboy. We went and saw Transamerica on Friday night and we both really enjoyed it. I’m glad that someone mentioned it to me (though for the life of me I can’t remember who) because it really turned out to be a good movie. I love going to the movies and enjoy it even more when I get to see something worth watching that’s a little less mainstream. I enjoy the blockbuster hits too but there’s something very satisfying about seeing something just a little bit different from the usual Hollywood hit.

/end update
  • Current Mood: melancholy melancholy
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I'm sorry that you're feeling melancholy today.
I also could barely get out of bed today. I seriously debated calling in sick. Maybe it's just the day? My work day started with a fire alarm and evaculation. Loverly.

I understand how you feel about the University stuff. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered to finish mine, and if it was worth it. It's sucky knowing that if we didn't have to pay back our student loans we'd essentially gain back enough to pay all of our rent each month.

On the other hand, I'm currently watching my dad try for a year to find a job. He's very skilled and he has years of experience, but he has no college or university degree and that is why he is not getting the positions. I don't agree with it, but so many companies require some kind of post-secondary education just to get in the door. It truly sucks. And, watching my dad go through this further emphasizes to me the need for something like that because unless something big changes it's going to get worse and we'll all end up needing Masters. :(
I'm wondering if it is just a blah day. I also almost called in this morning because I was feeling so off.

My dad is having the opposite problem from yours... he has a masters degree and is therefore "over-qualified" for most jobs. Damned if you do, damned if you don't it seems! I guess you're supposed to stop after undergrad? Who knows!