Nothing but Crows (kaleekolai) wrote,
Nothing but Crows
kaleekolai

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ramblings

I know that the person I'm about to write about reads this...and please forgive me for not saying this to you in person, but I just don't know how.

I got a bad feeling that night... it came suddenly and lasted a short time and then was gone again. Jealousy? Perhaps. My own subconscious hating my own loneliness. Maybe. But it was there, it was strong and it was real. It must have been something, because I shut myself off to these kind of "feelings" so many years ago.

And then there's her... one moment a friendship getting closer and stronger, even sometimes to the point where it caused another to feel somewhat left out...then suddenly a new wind sweeps through and she's gone. She says she's not, but I know it's true. I know there are reasons...there always are. But I'm worried for her. This talk of demons and curses is not right... this sudden surge of emotions, this strong love so quickly, so intense... something feels off... and yet, I want her to be happy. I want her to feel loved like never before, but something tells me this isn't right. Like a piece of the puzzle doesn't quite fit. I want to believe I'm just making it up, that it's all in my head...but something nags at me... I see her changing. Things that once we talked about, that she felt so strongly about, are no longer good enough. Things that used to matter ... seem to matter less... most of all, I see her changing with the wind, and I fear it's an ill wind indeed.

Tread carefully my friend, I'd hate to see the wind take you so far from your home, from yourself, that you can no longer find the way back. And me, I will try to be happy for you, as I've been in your shoes, but not everyone needs a break from the wind for a while. Perhaps a breeze will blow my way soon.

I'm sorry.
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