Goth face

quarter of a century

I turned 25 on Sunday. I've been waiting a long time for this. I've just had this desire to be a 'quarter of a century' old. Don't know why really, but it's not something that I was worried about...there was no "oh gods am I ever getting old". But don't misunderstand, just because I'm 25 it doesn't mean I'm grown up! ;) My friend Hazel, her bf Mike and I went to see Finding Nemo and then we met up with our other roomy Eric and saw Underworld. Both movies were pretty good but I was having a less than perfect day unfortunately...

It all started with an email I got from my Dad telling me that he'd caught my step-mom lying about having been drinking again and that they were seperating. It upset me because I could tell that he was really upset because he'd been so hoping that things were going to work out...but she hadn't been going to AA like she's supposed to etc etc etc....

Then one of my friends decided that she wasn't able to afford to come see me on my birthday. I have to admit, I was really hurt by this...but then again, I've been hurt a lot recently by things other people have done... maybe I'm just too sensitive or too demanding, who knows. I suppose I should be getting used to being put on the back-burner seeing as all my close friends have significant others. As for me, I like being single, but sometimes wish I had someone to be close with.

The present my friends got me was so amazing. They got me the Oberon Zell Millennial Gaia. She's so beautiful and exactly what I wanted. (Thanks Hazel for listening)

I'm starting to wonder if maybe I shouldn't post at night. It seems that's when all the depressive feelings come out.......
  • Current Mood: disappointed disappointed
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Congratulations on having your terra-discovery vehicle reach 25 years.

Love is the law, love under will.
93! 93!/93!
Thanks! The next milestone will be HALF A CENTURY!! :D (but I can take it slow, no need to rush)
Half a century!
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

I am 2 years shy of that landmark, and I am afraid that my vehicle is beginning to show the mileage. Wish I could trade it in for a new one. Just came across a technique for that that blew me away. See my last LJ post.

You might want to pay attention to your Saturn returns as well as the 25 year marks. They can be interesting.

Love is the law, love under will.
93! 93!/93!
Re: Half a century!
Actually I didn't think your Terra vehicle had been here that long, so although it is showing more mileage than mine *wink* it's not showing it's FULL mileage!

Saturn returns? That's to do with that astrology stuff isn't it? *wink*
Re: Half a century!
Saturn returns. Yes, astrology stuff. Or Tool, if you like their album Lateralis. The first song is all about Saturn returns. The album surprised me because there are so many occult references on it. Iron Maiden Surprised me, too, as they are Thelemites.
I'm sorry
Sweetie, I'm sorry. I am really, really sorry.

I'm not putting you on the backburner for anybody. I hope you don't feel that I am.

I really was broke. I didn't have 2.25 to take the bus to come to your house! I cried because I couldn't. And I know you guys hate coming you had movies to get to.

The only reason I've been eating at all in the last week - or going anywhere - is because of the kindness of one person. He's been giving me the money to get home or go to interviews, or to buy food.

I haven't gotten my last from either roomate - I had more bills come in - well you know the drill.

I couldn't even afford maxi pads when I was on my period.

I understand if you are mad at me. That's fine. Be hurt or mad - just know that I do love you, and missed going with you that night. It was an important night.

Mabye I'm failing as your friend - I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up.


Re: I'm sorry
I'm not mad at you, but I am disappointed. I had free movie passes, I would have been willing to give you one, and one of use could have provided you with some bus money...but when I talked to you on the phone you didn't really seem all that interested in coming over ... you had ... other things on your mind. That's ok, I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I really would have liked you to have been there.

On another note... I've been hesistant to say this, but I see changes in you (well technically I don't "see" them, but you know what I mean)...that remind me of changes I've seen in other people in the past. Things that seem to be changing about that worry me. *shrug* Maybe I'm off my rocker, maybe I read too much into things... maybe I think you're jumping into things too fast... maybe I just miss having people come to me for help and don't like being left out of the loop (so to speak). But what I'm seeing is also disappointing to me.

I didn't call you a fuck up. Maybe I'm just too selfish. I guess I ask too much of people...