Goth face

Just because

Don't really know what to say... feeling kind of "in between" right now. Probably going to go to bed soon but wanted to write something, even if it's my own pointless ramblings.

Having trouble getting used to the glasses. Love them, but just not used to the way things look and the way they feel. Feeling a bit of a headache from them today, but that happens when you get new glasses apparently. I keep thinking I'll just take them off for a few minutes to rest my eyes and realize that's even worse! Oh well, I guess I just have to be patient and wait for my eyes to adjust on their own.

Really tired... the train was late getting in last night (as usual) and I was just so whipped this morning that I called in sick to work (again). I really have to stop doing that... some days are just easier than others.

I wish I could figure out what's gotten into me these days. I'm just not myself. Of course that's probably evident from some of my previous posts. I'm feeling like I'm kind of "stuck" in a way... like I should be moving forward, but I'm not... I don't know how or don't have the energy to do it... I'm not sure exactly, but it's frustrating. At the same time, I sometimes feel like just wallowing in my own self pity. Just get wrapped up in it. Let it take me away. I guess some days I just need to know that I can still feel, cry, and hurt. It's part of what makes me who I am. I know that sounds negative, but I don't mean it like that. Getting wrapped up in my emotions is kind of therapeutic for me. I get to know them instead of just shoving them under the rug to build up. That way when it's time for them to go, they're gone.

I seem to be yawning an awful lot now. I'm thinking I should take that as a sign that it's time to sleep. Don't want to miss another day of work.

*yawn*
"I guess some days I just need to know that I can still feel, cry, and hurt. It's part of what makes me who I am. I know that sounds negative, but I don't mean it like that. Getting wrapped up in my emotions is kind of therapeutic for me. I get to know them instead of just shoving them under the rug to build up. That way when it's time for them to go, they're gone."


You make it sound like there's something wrong with that mentality. :-) That is a VERY healthy and mentally sound way of dealing with your emotions. You don't ignore them, you feel them. You're ahead of about 95% of the population, sweetie.

You say you're stuck - but are you stuck in your expectations or something else? What do you expect of yourself right now? Is it possible you're asking a hell of a lot more than you can do right now? I ask that because I'm the exact same way, and I know exactly how you feel, and sometimes I have to accept the fact that I'm *not* necessarily going to be productive every single day and make a difference, that sometimes it's alright to just do nothing and focus on getting through the day.

And it does take a while to get used to new glasses. I've had them since the fourth grade, contacts since the eighth. With every new adjustment, it takes a few days for your eyes to adjust. Don't worry about the headache - it'll pass.
Yeah, I always thought that a "feeling" mentality was the right one too... I guess it's just the popular social point of view that would beg to differ. Sucks to be them I guess.

I probably am trying to do too much all at once, but I think I've gone to the extreme of laziness now. I just can't seem to bring myself to do ANYTHING...not even laundry! eek! (at least i have clean undies!)

I really think I just need a vacation. Luckily it's reading week next week!