Gateway Rocks

[Meditations] Opening up

I've come to the conclusion that I don't like "Awakenings" as the title for this thread, so, fickle creature that I am, I'll be calling it "Meditations" now. Both of these words are steeped in meaning and neither really seem quite appropriate but "awakenings" seems to be about striving, trying to obtain something, whereas "meditations" is more about stillness and just being with whatever comes. The latter is more appropriate for me as this is what I'm trying to explore.

On to the topic at hand.

One of the things that I've been reading about is the idea of opening up to others. This is not in the sense of opening up by talking about your problems and your life (as I was well trained to do by many a shrink in my teen years) but rather, opening up to the idea that when you are experiencing something difficult to open up your heart to all those people out there that are feeling just the way you are right now. Open up and realize that what you're going through is neither good nor bad, it just is. It's part of being human and you are not alone in feeling this way. The idea is that you breath in this feeling and accept it for what it is without judgment and also breathe in the feeling for all others experiencing it too.

Wow.

This idea frightens me (fear! Another one to explore) because by opening up I'm acknowledging the pain (anxiety in this case) of so many people when I can hardly bear some of the pain/anxiety that I have myself. Once you've acknowledged it, you breath out compassion for yourself and all those in similar situations. To me, this also means that I have to care about others (not just those closest to me) and I don't feel as though I have enough energy for this. However, the whole concept is that by opening up like this, we cut through the pain and are able to release it's grip on us. We gain energy and compassion.

The few times that I have tried this so far, I have found myself pulling back into the comfort of my "self" and shied away from acknowledging this seemingly overwhelming idea of shared experience/emotion. This is apparently very common and most of us react this way. It's definitely something that I want to look at more.