There are so many things that I’d like to write about now but for some reason, I find myself unable to write most days.
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been trying to make sure I get an adequate amount of rest. Towards the end of last year I realized that I was really burning myself out by staying up late and not getting enough sleep. The past few nights I’ve gone to bed as early as 8:30 pm and at the latest, 11 pm. I’m having incredibly vivid dreams and waking up tired. I go through most of my day in a daze, unable to focus on anything.
I don’t get it.
I’ve been in better spirits overall, which I think is actually due largely to other things I’ve been doing, but I’m just pooped. Today I have a healthy dose of anxiety over something that I can’t put my finger on, my stomach is in knots and every time the phone rings, I cringe. It’s like I’m super sensitive to the noise as well as dreading having to speak with anyone.
I’m trying to resist feeling completely bummed out about the whole thing. On the surface, it feels like I’ve really made some good changes for my health and on the other hand I feel like the energy levels aren’t improving. It’s not to focus on this as yet another failure, as I am so habituated to do.
I find that I feel most vulnerable when I am tired or ill. I’m more apt to cry at the slightest thing. I also notice that’s when I tend to have panic attacks or feelings of anxiety.
Since I’m certainly getting plenty of sleep now, I’m figuring that there might be some nutritional issue at play here. I’ve still got the same old eating habits as always (albeit I’ve been really cutting back on the amount of snacking) so the fatigue might be pointing to something as simple as low iron or B vitamins. I’ve had lower iron levels at different points in my life so this wouldn’t be a huge stretch of the imagination. I’m thinking if I add a multi-vitamin into my daily routine it may make the difference. I’ve been notorious for only sporadically taking multi-vitamins so it would be something that I’d really have to work at in order to make it consistent.
Bottom line is I’m pooped and I’m annoyed by it. I want to feel focused and energetic! I want to be excited about life again. I want to be awake and alive and full of energy. I’m glad I’ve made the changes that I have, I just hate feeling so tired.