Hairless Meg

The problem with being unconventional

I am a woman. I'm not rail thin and never will be. I am fairly different from conventional standards of beauty and today it hit me fairly hard.

When I was in high school, despite being fairly well endowed, there was one guy that used to call me "Pat" (referring the character by the same name on Saturday Night Live). I had short hair and often wore baggy clothes, which made me look perhaps a little more androgynous than most teenage girls. I didn't really wear a lot of make-up either. I still don't.

Today, I have a shaved head. Despite struggling to grow my hair out at various points in the past few years, I've realized that I really am more comfortable with it short. I look at my reflection and I think it looks beautiful but a few people have expressed dismay at my lack of hair. Their intentions are good, they honestly think that I have beautiful hair and that's why they're sad to see it gone, but it kind of touched a deep hurt that I have. I had a moment of doubt... maybe I shouldn't have shaved my head... maybe it's just "too different". I felt like crying. And then I saw my reflection in the elevator mirror. The shaved head look is something that I find beautiful. I can't explain it but I find it slims and lengthens my appearance and compliments the features of my face.

The problem with being so unconventional is that it's like swimming upstream some days. I want to be who I am but I'm fighting against 28 years of society's images of beauty that are not only ingrained on my psyche but very different from the way I look. I can't imagine getting married without a full head of beautiful long hair and although that's not an issue for me right now, my friend Dee's upcoming wedding gets me thinking of it. Thankfully, she's happy with a bald maid of honour, so I'm okay there but part of me wants to be "beautiful" for her on her special day. Somehow beauty and hair become synonymous in this case.

I need to hold on to defining myself by what makes me feel comfortable and happy, not what other perceive to be "normal", "beautiful" or whatever.
I think you look great with a shaved head! And people who are rail thin are abnormal imho and not terribly attractive. So don't be so down on yourself!
Thanks Mike, I think it looks great too and rail thin women aren't attractive either. Like I said, it's unconventional but I think the shaved head is beautiful.

Sheesh, more people wrecking parties.

I'll tell you this, the natural happy smile on your face with your shaven head is worth a helluva lot more than a faked smile beneath inches of hair done up with tons of hairspray. You're beautiful because you're honest with yourself, and you make efforts to be true to yourself.

Those people could learn a lot from you if they'd open their ears and eyes to your freedom. Or maybe they'd envy you like I do for having the guts. Don't change yourself.
Well if you're the example that I'm using to conform to, I'm right on track with the new cut!
To hell with other people's opinions. You seemed confident, happy, and proud (and a little "this is me, deal with it" which is an attitude I like) the last time I saw you with a shaved head. That is beauty and people who don't get it are the people you can do without.

Re: an idea for a fancy wedding hairdo when you don't have hair--I used to see this woman on the GO train whose hair was less than 1/4 inch long, and she'd dyed it in swirling green, blue, and purple patterns. I thought she looked completely hot.
I actually saw a girl that had most of her head shaved with just a bit on top that could be put up into a mohawk or left down. It was neon pink and looked SO hot! Mine's way too short for any of that right now. It's actually buzzed right down to the scalp. Just a wee smidgen of fuzz on top.

Thanks for the support. I am happy with it, just need a slightly thicker skin for the people who can't seem to handle it and feel the need to let me know.
Being naturally unconventional (when not done for shock value) is FAR more interesting IMO. Not that I am terribly unconventional... or maybe just in more subtle ways. *wink*

Anyways, I understand what you are talking about. In high school, in particular, if I ever received a compliment it was about my hair. I always had "gorgeous hair". Actually I also got compliments for my nails because they were long, which was only because I didn't bite them and never got around to cutting them. *lol* I digress, if hair is always considered a marker of beauty (and it is in our culture) and if it's the one thing you are most complimented on, the desire to cut it all off is a troublesome one.

.. and now it's time for me to go before I can finish this so I'll bother you with my ramblings later... ;)
Thanks girl. :) I think part of it is feeling like you've been put into a little box by some people or society in general. If you don't stay in the box you're looked at funny and such. No matter how much I like it myself, it still hurts to have people say things that are really veiled insults.